Perfection

Recently, I stood at my kitchen sink as my son played perfection at the kitchen table. The hot water vaguely hurt as I scrubbed a pot all the time listening to the familiar sound of the game's timer tick. Then, I heard the inevitable crash, as the game board popped and all the pieces flew in the air only to land in a mixed up heap. My son loves it . He knows that no matter how hard he tries all his work will be popped out of place. He sees the timer and hears the ticking as his time draws to a close. Yet each time he is surprised.

I feel that way in my life. I try so hard to put each piece neatly in it's place. Everything must look just right, and be just so. Except in life some pieces don't seem to have a "place". Then, I seem to get bogged down with the "easy" shapes. This should be easier right? If I can just get all the little pieces in the right place Life will make sense, be easy, etc. I hear the ticking..I know I can beat the timer.....I'm so close....POP!

Jesus said to be careful what foundation we build our lives on, either the practice of His principals, or our own. Sand or Rock. Luke 6:46-49 -Matt 7:24-27.

We will not see or be perfect this side of heaven, but we can live our lives on the rock that will not be moved. So when all else has been uprooted and misplaced our God will not be shaken. Heb 12:24

Lord,
Show me what Your priorities are and help me to follow them. I desire to seek FIRST Your kingdom. I believe that You will add everything else to me . I do not want to lean or live on my own understanding , I want to walk by faith. Help me to fix my eyes on You knowing that You will lead me. Thank you for loving me even as I fail.

Subtext

Subtext is defined in theater terms as:The meaning beneath the superficial surface of a play's story, often more important then the latter.

Funny how life can be reduced to a "term". We live our lives and portray whatever character we are comfortable being: Good girl, Bad boy,Entertainer, Sad Sack, Hard Ass, and on and on. Ahhh but the REAL story lies in the subtext the deep text we allow to run and,oft times control decisions. Yes, my friend, I ask you today to stop and listen to THAT voice the one that speaks...well now what does is speak? Truth or lies? For me? Both... I must examine that voice daily and tell the lies that they have no home in my life anymore. More importantly I must bathe my mind in truth that it may over power the false subtext that I let run rapid in my sinful heart. The Lord of Hosts wants to take hold of my heart and read each false subtext and tell them no...Why am I still broken...because I am broken by nature and only daily reliance will free me..'But wehave these treasures in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us" 2 Corth 4:7 Do you REALLY love ME? But God demonstrates His love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ dies for us Rom 5:8...me, you us no really US ....Even seeing EVERYTHING..He still died for US.

What does your subtext read? What do you let yourself believe? Truth or Lies? Do not be fooled, those around you ae far better readers than you think. Is the subtext more important that the life you are living? Search and see. I pray that you let God's TRUTH reign in our lives that HE may have HIS way...and that our lives would speak plainly of love and mercy..

Blessings to my friends through Jesus who is the Christ

I have always loved the prodigal son parable. It speaks to my rebellious heart. You see I have always been a quiet rebel. I hate confrontation, but I still want my way. So,my M.O. became to simply not argue..pretend listen to other points of view and then quietly do as I pleased. As a result, I woken up in the "sty" many a day .

Lately I have seen the parable from a different light, that of the unforgiving brother. Remember him? He did everything "right" and was ticked that his dad forgave the wayward son. You see as I become better at my "practice" of Christianity I see a trap. The trap of arrogance and "holier- than -thou" attitude that kills the call of Christ in my life and destroys any chance of meaningful witness to others. I feel the same thing when driving: While speeding I want to get off, but when I see a speeder whiz by, I want the cops to act with full power.

I want Grace for me, but I want judgment for you.

That my friend is a heart problem. A heart that does not truly trust that God is a good and perfect judge. A heart that wants justice is from God. A heart that wants only MY justice is warped. How then to combat this heart? This desire wield MY holiness in a sad broken world. The best I can see is to reflect on my own state of pitiful brokenness. To daily focus on the Grace that saved me and know that I am BOTH the foolish, rebel son AND the bitter, judgmental son. Are you?

Then I invite you to remember that all our good works are as fifthly rags before our God. (Isaiah 64:6) As we attempt to stand before a Holy God our knees will buckle, Truth will wash over us, and humility will flow out of us.

LOVE the Savior. TEND His sheep. (John 21:17)

Stuff

My son has gotten into a very funny habit lately. Every morning as we leave for school he walks through the living room gathering up as many toys as he can to “take wit me mommy”. Each time he picks one up he looks at me and says with complete honesty “okay, this is it”. Only to look down and find yet another treasure that he simply cannot do without. The scene plays out just like the movie “ The Jerk” where Steve Martin’s character has lost everything and as he is leaving his new found fortune says “I don’t need anything but this chair," etc..gathering up every random possession he can on his way out of prosperity into ruin.As I watched my son I could hear God say “Oh my child how all of you are so like this.” My mind went to the parable of the soils where Jesus spoke of the "Other seed (that) fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants” (Matt 13:7) He later explained to his disciples in Matt 13:22 “The one who received the seed that fell among the thorns is the man who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke it, making it unfruitful." Ouch! How many times have I let my desire for this world and it’s stuff keep me from being “ the fertile soil” for God’s work in my life. Too many times I move through this world telling God and myself “ just this one more commitment, just this one more thing, just this one more accomplishment.” Only to be bound to a schedule and lifestyle that chokes the propose out of me.

God’s word says"let us throw off everything that hinders and sin that so easily entangles, and let us with perseverance the race marked out for us. (Heb 12:1)Stuff is not all bad, but when it binds and hinders it takes us from God and then IT IS SIN. My prayer toady is for God’s wisdom to infuse us to know what we are bound to and what is hindering us from His calling in our lives. Then for His power to show us how to throw it off in obedience and RUN!

Messages

I remember when I went to college we were all so excited because every freshman, it seemed, had been sent to school with the latest gadget: The Answering Machine! A semi complex box with a little cassette tape that would actually record all the messages while you were out! We spent countless hours recording the PERFECT outgoing message: Not too long, you'll get cut off, sound happy or your parents will come visit, but not too happy or they will come visit, try to keep the background yelling to a minimum unless you're going for a partyesq feeling. Ohh the fun! But what we most enjoyed was coming back to the dorm and checking your massages. Seeing who loved you enough to record a little snippet on that cruddy cassette tape. Some messages were day makers: the guy you met yesterday, some were day bummers: your mom telling you that your checking account was overdrawn AGAIN!, and some were day killers: there's been a problem come home we'll tell you more when you're here. No matter what, you WANTED to see who had a message for you and know what it was.

God has a message and it is the UTIMATE day-maker. I would not be wrong to say that it is a LIFE maker. It is a message of Love and Hope but mostly it is a message of Grace. I 'm not sure if your like me, but if you are then you don't always go running to get your messages from Him. You are too busy, tired, or stressed. Sometime I don't want the message because it interferes with my plans for me. Yeah, that's the real problem M-E. I feel entitled to my desires and getting my way. Sad, I wonder how many beautiful sentiments I have missed from God. I pray that I don't miss many more.

My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. John 10:27

Beginnings

Well I guess this is how you start! I feel a little vain blogging. It seems like introspection meets voyeurism. I do like to ramble on, those of you who know me well can stop laughing now, but I've gone 41 yrs now not writing it down for the whole of cyberspace to see so this is weird to me. A few warnings to begin: I am a horrible writer! My grammar is awful even with a sister who taught Language Arts. I am dyslexic so don't expect that the spell check will save me cuz it wont. And finally, I have started doing this to write me ideas and understandings along my walk with Christ so the majority of my posts will be about you guessed it...God/Christ/The Holy Spirit. My prayer it that this pleases my God The Maker of Heaven and Earth. I also pray that you gleen what He wants and that I can stay out of His way. ( No small task for a ham like me)